


Thoughts on loving Arthur Fleck

by ArthurFlecksGirl



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23790340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurFlecksGirl/pseuds/ArthurFlecksGirl
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/You
Kudos: 4





	Thoughts on loving Arthur Fleck

Thoughts keeping me awake at night. Usually Arthur was the one who suffered from insomnia. But tonight he slept well, crawled up beside me, his favourite blanket covering half of his tiney body. I loved watching him sleep. There was something so calming about being sure of him being save with me. And I knew he was. I did my best to keep him save from the rest of the world. He was a 35 year old, insanely attractive man, and still his pure hearted soul reminded me of a little kid sometimes. You barely get to know adults with his attitude anymore. Arthur was able to see the world though the eyes of a child, which I always thought was a gift most of us lost through the years. The ability to be pure at heart.  
Arthur was the purest soul I have ever met. Sure, he wasnt perfect, no one is. We all have our demons and Arthur had more of them than most people. But this was part of his beauty. The darkness within him wasnt soemthing that scared me. I wish the darkness wasnt there, so he could be free of it. But I wasnt scared of any part within him. As muc h as I wished for him to be free of these kinda emotions...I loved him for being real. For not being a fake person that runs around, pretending he is okay. Arthur always tried to make people laugh when he felt down. but that wasnt fake. He really wanted to make other people happy, because he wasnt able to feel it himself. And I guess he thought maybe, just maybe when he finally managed to make someone laugh, he would feel an idea of happiness,too.  
That was before we started dating. Now he knew what happiness feels like. He told me as he opened up to me,telling me he loved me. I still couldnt belive that I was the one who made him feel hapiness. It still felt like there is so much more I need to give him.  
What was keeping me awake at night, was the unconditional love I felt for this man. I have never felt something so undeniable before. It was consuming me compleately and still it wasnt enough.  
Every night when we made love I felt like I was connected to a higher force. He was like a door to another dimansion. To toch him, to kiss him felt like falling into a delirium of lust and passion. Our bodies melting into each other was the most wonderful feeling I have ever expercienced.  
But still it wasnt enough.  
I wanted him to be closer.  
Sometimes I even thought that my body was something that was holding me back from being closer to him. I wanted to become bodyless energy. Wanted to transform myself back into my original shapeless soul. To be able to enter his body and posess him with all the love I hold for him. I wanted him to breathe me in like smoke and never breathe me out again. I would spread my shapeless form inside of his body like wings, making him feel like flying.  
I would be there when he is dancing.He would feel me as a vibration underneath his feet while making his steps down the stairs.  
Step Step Step  
He would feel me as the air, floathing beneath his arms, making him feel weightless. I would always be there. Inside of him. All around him.  
Oh to be the dream he dreams at night, the essence of his consciousness. The melody that keeps him calm when he needs to be calmed.  
I`d become the thought inside his head. The one that makes darkness leave.  
Drifting deeper inside of his mind. Exploring it.  
Every corner of his twisted mind. Every color he has ever imagined. I would re-arrange them, make them colors no one has ever seen before. A color which darkness cannot swallow. The darkness inside of his mind is enormious, so it would take a lot of time and energy to make his demons powerless.  
I would suck all his darkness in, become one with everything bad that ever happened to him. You have to get close to your enemies to be able to destroy them. And just as darkness thinks it has me in its arms,too...i would think of all the love I hold for him. I would think of his smile, his hands on my skin, his eyes. I would put every loving word he ever said to me, every hug, every time we made love,...I would put it all together in one bundle of energy and it would explode like a firework, destoying everything that was left of his demons.  
And all this love would rage inside of him, like a storm that makes him feel alive. Makes him feel LOVED.  
Love would finally win.  
Thats what I wanted.  
To be the love inside of him.  
To live with him.  
To die with him.  
To be reborn as two souls in one body.  
Spending afterlife together.  
Over and over.  
To never leave his side.  
Time means nothing.  
There is only the love I feel for him.  
And its eternal.


End file.
